A lot of friends have the decency of asking me “How could you travel alone without your child?” My immediately response -“Well, Because it’s okay to have a free mommy time off! WHY NOT, right?” while another question comes by from them “…And your husband?” I drop a big smile as I respond “He’s a grown man, he’s fine.”
This is something that is happening around me lately and I have to write it and share it. Now, every relationship is different and I cannot give you the exact advise because it may not be applicable for everyone. However, I’m going to cut to the chase and say something that every marriage has to hear and that the society must hear: You should travel at least once a year without your kids, and it’s okay to travel without them.
I know is a overrated theme, but you’ll be surprised of how many parents don’t travel without their kids or do solo traveling or anything, like never. Society has this misconception that you’re a bad parent if you travel without your toddler, if a mom takes good care of herself, enjoys a night out once in a while alone and so on. People has this mind-set that automatically believes a woman will never travel, enjoy life, be pretty, use high heels, etc, once she becomes a mother. This is all a myth unless you accept this type of settlement in your life.
Let me share with you the benefits and reasons why should you travel with your partner without your kids or do solo traveling, because being together constantly, is not all healthy. 😉
Here are my 9 reasons you should travel without your kids, with no guilt!
1. Freedom of choosing any country…in the world!
Sometimes we search, and search and do research whether destinations that we want to visit are suitable for our kids. Parent-only holidays gives you that opportunity to explore these countries without worrying about your kid’s safety and/or well-being. For instance, on my Hanoi trip, I knew it was going to be tricky feeding him, plus visiting Ha Long Bay was going to be a problem. Therefore, I travelled to Hanoi baby free. I knew I couldn’t choose this destination on a family vacation with a toddler.
2. Enjoy your relationship
Remember when you two first met? everything was fun and exciting, laughing at dumb jokes and chatting about almost everything. When was the last time you regain those memories and activities? Well, you can do it again. Visiting a new place or country will give you the opportunity to reconnect again and might even remember why you fell in love and married them.
Explore new things and places; go to clubs, romantic restaurants, have adult beverages, go party! Family vacations are fun but is also very fun to explore only with your partner, it builds a stronger relationship as well.
In marriage, sex is an area that tends to suffer most after kids. Whether it’s because of postpartum body changes, hormone changes resulting in less drive, or babies and toddlers in your bed, you name it, sex becomes, well, Missing? Less sexy?. However, a nice hotel room, a whole complete night just the two of you, drinking wine, having a nice dinner and not sharing your food with a toddler on your lap while not letting you eat… or knowing that the next few days you can have a conversation with no interruptions, and finally, have sex wherever and however you’d like. Yes? of course yes.
4. Enjoy whatever you want!
As parents we always participate in kids activities so we can keep them happy and entertained. Traveling with only your partner means no kids scheduling, Hell with that! No need to plan ahead, you get to do anything you want. How about sightseeing with no “Oh, but is too boring for the kids or baby”, having long walks or going to the beach and just lay and relax for hours, and not chasing your little one making sure he/she is safe and sound. Like it? yes, you can actually enjoy everything and so much more with no regrets.
5. Explore risky and adventurous trips
I love adventures, but now that I’m mom, traveling with my baby is just a no-no for these kind of trips. Solo traveling or traveling with your partner gives you the opportunity to do slightly risk and spontaneous trips. Go for hiking, kayaks, skydiving, riding motorcycle or jet skiing, Oh-my God! The list goes on… There’s a bunch of things you can try in any destination you choose because every country has their adventurous taste, for instance diving with sharks inside a cage, bathing an elephant or feeding kangaroos. If you like doing these types of things or would like to try them, the best chance to do them is traveling without your kids or your toddler.
6. See more things in a ‘short time’ frame
Let’s be honest here, kids slow us down, period. I love my baby having him on my trips but there’s some destinations that I just prefer not taking him. Imagine visiting the Louvre in Paris or the Colosseum in Italy and they’re whining because it’s been 3 hours and you still haven’t finish exploring the amazing history that lies in those buildings. Not to mention, you still have other places on your list to visit. Nevertheless, if there’s no other option than visiting these places with my toddler, I’ll just have to suck it up and hope for the best. But traveling without them, well, you have the freedom to see what you want and in a time frame that suits you.
7. Stay up LATE!!
If you’re reading this is because you’re a parent and know many reasons why you can’t stay up late with your kids and if you do, it might end up not typically how you would want to. Traveling with your partner or solo, you’ll have so many options and reasons to stay up late such as going clubbing, having cocktails in a nice restaurant or relaxing in a roof top bar with no hesitation whatsoever.
8. Is good for the kids
Yes. Is good for the kids. I’m sure of from the people who’ll take care of your child loves you and supports you, if not, they wouldn’t help you in the first place. Leaving your child with your parents (for instance) for a couple of days creates a grandchild time, bonding time, their routine will be different and leaving them with people who loves them and takes care of them is a great experience. It also helps them to be more independent and confident.
9. …and is good for you!
Sometimes we live every single day in our daily routines that we forget that there’s a world out there! We tend to put the family first and don’t get me wrong, is okay, but is also okay to put yourself first sometime. Traveling without kids allows yourself the capacity to invite new experiences in your life, Indulge and splurge out on yourself! Don’t forget that you’re taking home these experiences to share them as well. Every time I travel solo or with my husband without our toddler, we come back appreciative, reenergized, and excited to reenter our lovely and energetic life with little Abraham.